One down

The absurdity of this situation continues to catch me off guard on a daily basis. Just when I think I’ve shifted my mindset to okay, let’s just get this over with and do this thing, I get stopped in my tracks by the littlest non-events. Like a shot. I just had a double mastectomy for chrissakes! I can do anything! Right? No.

The smaller moments are like insulting punctuations, and they have become the ones that sting the most somehow.

Last week was chemo morning round 1, and the actual administration of it was really a non-event. The exhaustive listing of side-effects, blood work-prepping, hospital-bedding, paperwork-making parts of it it took the cake, and the buildup was dreadful. In the end though, my morning was basically an IV and then some stuff pushed into it including some stuff to make me sleepy and relaxed.

The drugs were put into the iv with a bag for the (C) and with a syringe for the (A). The A is red and so can make my pee red. Awesome again!

I was sleepy and relaxed though so the whole ordeal was less painful (emotionally and physically) than I expected. I think my sister and Mark had the harder job which was the cold caps, which were cooled to -28C and then put on my head every 20-25 minutes. For about 7 hours.

That sucks. For everyone involved but if we keep it up for the whole regimen, I may be able to keep most of my hair. Everyone loses some hair, but the effects should be much less noticeable. Fingers crossed, okay??

The after effects- I feel high and tired, mostly. I had to have my friend administer a shot of Neulasta the day after (it was this moment I chosen to use to burst into tears) to help with my white-blood cell count, and unfortunately the main side effect from that is that it causes bone pain. I feel like I had the flu shot all over my arms, it seems hard to lift them. But I have (surprisingly?) no nausea, thanks to the medication cocktail I was provided, instead I did feel flu-ish at first.

With a new day, plus one or two now, I feel good. Everyone around me (and us) continues to be so thoughtful and kind and I already haven’t done enough to say thank you. So please know we are thinking and saying it.

7 to go.