Month: April 2018

Recovery

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Recovery

The word means a lot of things to a lot of people, especially when it relates to an illness. Everyone in my family is recovering and adapting to this new reality in their own ways. Me, I feel like I’ve recovered several times over the last 9 months…

  • That time I found out I had areas of concern in both breasts, during my FIRST MAMMOGRAM EVER, with NO FAMILY HISTORY.
  • That time I saw what a few measly needles could do to some pretty nice, unscarred breasts (think purple bruising for miles and miles).
  • That time I was told the best course of action would be an immediate-bilateral mastectomy and found out afterwards that I would remain numb in that whole area – forever.
  • That time I woke up from said surgery with incisions and drains and bandages realized I’d gained my health but would forever have something lost.
  • That time I found out I tested positive for a little-known but virulent gene mutation, PALB2, which made it near-given that I’d end up with breast cancer.
  • The eight times I was administered poison to kill the remaining cancer cells and got a shot in the stomach from my best friend that promised to limit the damage to my bones.
  • The day I stopped radiation, which signaled the end to a daily routine that seemed to make less and less sense the more I got burned.
  • The day I left for vacation. Healed, a little tired, but with my people, all of them, showing me their strength and loving me back to normal.

The burns from radiation have healed, and the scars are continuing to fade. I count my blessings and recall all of the things (and more) for which I am thankful, and am happily, mundanely, tiredly back to the boring business of being a full-time working mom and wife.

Writing helped me through the worst of it, and I hope it’ll help me trudge through what the heck just happened and how to move forward. I have some ideas about things I want to share with you — ways the kids and we coped and kept things “normal”, the little things people did to show they cared, and what I learned by sitting in cancer waiting rooms.

Stay tuned, I’m feeling good, look pretty normal, and will be back.