I will never run a marathon. I hate running. Sorry, I know there are a lot of people out there who love running. I do not. I do not understand the desire or urge to run, so running 26.2 miles, to me, is just batshit crazy. And don't even think for one second I will be one of those cancer-surviving yahoos that will decide to run a marathon to raise money for cancer research. Nope, not going to happen. I'll send a check.
ALL THAT BEING SAID, I love watching marathons and have many friends and family who have run many, with the best and most important race being the Boston Marathon. Natch. Watching marathons is a very serious business — people get to their spots early, bringing picnics, lawn chairs and giant signs. I've watched just about every Boston Marathon for the last almost 40 years in some way and we've always made a day of it. Schools are even closed in MA, so it is always a family affair.
For the runners, I imagine there is a ton of excitement and anticipation at the starting line in Hopkinton, with thousands of people teeming about, lubing their nipples and applying sunscreen, eating that weird runner goo people eat, setting their fancy runner watches and getting lined up. If there are spectators at the starting line, I assume those people are also pretty excited, maybe nervous, but generally looking forward to watching the race. If they're like me, they're wondering "Why would anyone run that long? Don't they get blisters? Are their feet hot? What if they have to poop?".
I kind of feel like one of those runners at the starting line. Like, I have this seemingly impossible thing I must do, really soon. Except I didn't sign up for this cancer ride VOLUNTARILY like those runner wackadoodles. The bus pulled up to take me to the starting line and everyone else is there with me, watching. But instead of anxious excitement at the starting line, all the spectators are crying. And hugging me. And each other. Some of them are even being consoled by others.
You are all so worried, and sad, and I'm like "eff this, I don't even have running shoes. Guess I have to buy some" and putting on my little shorts. I feel terrible that you guys are sad and worried. I feel grateful that you care and I feel the love surrounding me. I can feel it coming across miles and through texts and cards and in flowers and the food. I can. And I just want to say thank you. And I want to tell you to not be sad, and try not to be worried. Because I got this.
The starting pistol is going off in a couple of weeks. Surgery is scheduled. I have no idea what to do or how to get through it. But I don't seem to have a choice, so I'm going to tie my sneakers, eat some goo, and just run my ass off.
I didn't have time for this. 
Dear Amanda…I can tell you are ready for this race with the right attitude. The runner takes one step at a time, one mile at a time…that’s how you get through this process and it’s a process! I ran this race, too, and I’m not a runner either! One day at a time…you’re strong, healthy, and will persevere! Love you! Jane Sabin
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Thanks Jane!! It is HUGELY inspiring and comforting to know how many other strong women there are out there who have done this. And thrived afterwards. Xo
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That’s the right attitude. Xo
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My hero! No joke. And we will be right there with you! Maybe I’ll run that race for you;)
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You are right, you certainly did not sign up for this…. but we have signed up to be your cheerleaders. Amanda- you are up for this & you will get through it. You have the right attitude, you are strong & we all love you… am glad you can feel it!
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Well said! As someone whose helped someone dear to me get through cancer, I understand. With medicine the way it is today, you will run through this. Oh, and as we got started I kept reminding myself that this will only be a small blip in our lives together. And now almost a year since his diagnosis, I am feeling that way. I love you so much and your positive attitude! Let’s do this!
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Ps love the marathon analogy!
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Sorry ;), I know you are one of THOSE wackadoodles! Love you.
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Great analogy. One foot in front of the other. You’re going to get there and victory will be sweet!
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Amanda, you are amazing and inspirational. I would definitely carb load before this marathon 😉. You totally have this and your family is handing you water along the way of your marathon. – Sherri
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With your ka attitude and all your fans and prayer warriors, you will finish strong! Thank you for sharing your journey. You are a gifted writer. Wishing you the best!
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Amanda,
I hate finding out that you are going through this. I know every second sucks; but don’t worry, this too will pass, you will be one of the strongest mammas to get off the bus; and us spectators, we will be rootin’ for ya the whole damm way-and then some…. stay strong!
XO
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I agree they are whackadoodles for choosing to run longer than to the bathroom. And I agree you’ve got this!
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